I lied. I was, in fact, not read to be broken. I gave myself a headache from how much I cried. 10/10, though, I recommend this book to everyone.

That’s why we came up here, right?” C piles on. “We said we’d plan it today. Our great escape from the hospital.” Neo glances his way. The possibility of today, but grander, stirs between us. C shrugs. “What’s stopping us?” I Fell in Love with Hope” by Lancali is a self-published debut novel and was released on Aug. 1, 2022. This book has been slowly gaining popularity on social media over the month, and that is how I came to read this amazing novel. Sam is immortal. They’ve been “alive” since the birth of the hospital, and they still retain their memories of that time. Though their body doesn’t really age, it’s still gross. I absolutely despise immortal x mortal tropes, because let’s be honest: it’s pedophilia. Long story short, I couldn’t stand Sam, and they are probably the most inconsistent, annoying narrator/character I’ve ever encountered. And let’s talk about the fact that Sam’s being genderfluid was actually a really harmful portrayal.

That being said, I think the author has a lot of good kernels. They clearly know how to craft a nice sentence. I’m confident that, with time, they will learn when and how to use those for impactful prose. There’s tragedy, there’s romance, there’s mystery, there’s humor, and lots of Shakespeare references. And later, Sam describes themself as essentially looking like nothing you can describe and everything you can imagine at once, meaning they have no set appearance.

Oh what can I say about these lovely characters, everything about them is just so good. Needless to say I loved them all. Sam at first was off putting but it's explained later on in the story as to why they seem so out of place. (This is where the writing comes in as Sam is the narrator throughout the whole story). Neo, Sony, Cœur and Hikari are just chefs kiss. And Sony is the love of my life so hands off her. We find out at the end of the book that Sam is the physical incarnation of the hospital. (Which, in my opinion, was a really confusing, rushed, and mediocre twist.) Their entire drive in the story was wanting to know why people suffer and die. Sam had this awfully annoying savior complex in which they frequently insisted they wanted to save everyone… i know that this is based loosely on lancali's childhood as a chronically-ill kid and i intend no harm or hate to the author, i am just sharing my opinion on the story) In general, the writing was incredibly naive. The plot was buried under purple prose, distracting from whatever was happening. There were countless times where dialogue would be split with paragraphs and paragraphs of monologues, and when a character would speak again, I would have no clue who was talking or what they were even responding to. But what also bothered me about Sam and Hikari’s relationship was the fact that it seemed like Sam was trying to fall in love with her BECAUSE she was Real-Sam’s reincarnation. I already don’t like the insta love trope, so that made this worse. For claiming that they refused to let love into their heart, Sam sure fell for Hikari instantly because of her “yellow-flaired eyes” (??? What does that even mean?). Hikari had such a boring personality that I and many others just don’t understand what Sam would have seen in her other than their past lover.

Neo was my favourite character and the character I resonated with the most. Throughout the book, I found myself wanting to protect him. I loved him so much, and just seeing everything that was going on in his life broke me. He deserved so much better, and he will be a character that I will never forget. Now?” Neo looks up, caressing the book that never leaves his side. His copy of Great Expectations. It’s a constant, like a beauty mark or the shape of his nose. And it’s bent at the spine, just like him.

Our floor’s most notorious jailer (nurse), Eric, has a keen sense of timing. He raises a brow at Sony’s tone, his foot tapping away at the ground. His bullshit detector is a honed weapon, and when he gets mad, I wouldn’t wish his wrath upon actual prisoners. I Fell in Love with Hope is delightful, honest and straightforward. I have never read a book like this. It held me hard, making me finish reading it. It is a beautiful, heartbreaking and thought-provoking book. In my opinion th Sam’s genderfluidity was not genuine in the slightest. Remember, Sam is the incarnation of the hospital. They created a body for themself.No, not depressed. They ruined that word for me. I think the worst feeling in the world is telling someone you’re in pain and hearing them say there’s no wound.” Sony leads the charge with the air of freedom and just one lung to breathe it. Neo, a cranky, wheelchair-bound writer, follows our great deeds, from stealing to terrorizing our nurse. Coeur is the beautiful boy, the muscular, gentle giant with a weak heart. The narrator, Sam, works through his grief throughout the entire novel. Before he met Sonny, Neo, Coeur and Hikari, they had their first love who was also named Sam. Sam passed away and the narrator gave up on hope and the possibility of being able to love again, because of the immense pain they felt from Sam’s death.